Many people are convinced that whatever has happened to them is the ultimate truth, which cannot be changed. Some of us, due to our past experiences, stop taking bold steps in life. The entire idea of life coaching is to understand our reality and take bold steps to change it.
The problem with any type of trauma is, it creates a very strong and intense resistance within the person. An individual who met with an accident while learning to drive stops learning and never drives.
Because of a certain bitter experience at the job, some of us never work again. Some go through tough breakups and are now afraid to get into another relationship. Many such past experiences, some big and some small, limit us.
The human potential is vast and untapped. If only an individual learns to stop the counterproductive tendencies of his or her own mind, the individual can begin an epic journey to a smooth life.
How Does Emotional Trauma Take Place?
Contrary to popular belief, trauma does not happen because of what happens to us, but because of how we respond, internally & externally, during and after the unfortunate experience.
To explain in simple language: our mind is made of patterns. Whenever a memory comes to our mind, our body releases certain hormones.
For example, you see a child playing. This triggers your memory of the wonderful experience you had with your niece. So, your body starts releasing feel-good hormones.
Every time this happens, the pattern becomes stronger. Now, whenever you see a child playing, you feel happy.
The same thing happens with negative experiences, but intensely. For example, a person had a rough experience with a dog in his childhood. Now every time he sees a dog, he gets nervous and afraid, because this triggers his childhood bad experience with the dog.
Even if the dog is friendly and harmless, he will get anxious and nervous around the dog. This negatively affects his ability to form a bond with animals, in some cases, people.
Can I Be Healed?
The fundamental nature of life is growth & healing. If you leave a building as it is for 5 years, you will see plants start to grow in and around the building. If you leave it for 50 years, you will not be able to see the building from a distance.
Your trauma, your wounds are meant to be healed. If, under the right guidance, you allow life to flow, the trauma will heal.
How Can I Heal My Emotional Trauma?
Simply saying, you can heal your trauma by forming new patterns. A trauma is nothing but a pattern that is triggered by some external trigger.
What one can do is, under the right guidance, take small steps to create a new pattern. This can be done in three ways:
- Self-Talk: Normalize the experience you had. Deliberately remember the event and normalize it by saying: “It’s okay, things happen.” Or “It’s not a big deal.”
- Take A Different Step: Next time the anxiety is triggered, take a different step. Maybe you can take a couple of deep breaths. Maybe you can talk to someone who helps you get calm. Also, keep practicing self-talk.
- Meditate: Meditation in general will help you calm your nerves down. But make sure you learn it from a good teacher.
Now the steps are basic yet effective, especially in small cases. But if you are dealing with a serious issue, it is better to connect with an expert.
How Long Will It Take To Heal?
This depends on many factors, like the intensity of the trauma. How quickly you learn new things, how receptive are you to change? At the end, remember life is all about growth and healing. As long as you are healing, you are growing, you are on the right path.
As a life coach in India, I have worked with people with diverse backgrounds. I have helped people overcome their weaknesses and their fears. Some of them have faced serious physical assaults.
At the end, it doesn’t matter what happened to us; what matters is how we respond to it and what bold steps we take to overcome the trauma.
1 Comment
Tarkeshwar Roy
Very knowledgeable training of personal life and professional career.
Thank you sir