In life we will always have people who will either positively or negatively criticize our actions. Human beings are social animals so what people around us think about us has a certain impact on us.
However, whether the impact will be positive or negative depends on our response to that criticism. Criticism could be positive or negative, but if our response is correct towards that criticism then we can grow into a better version of ourselves.
In the wonderful book The Magic Of Thinking Big by David Schwartz, our responses to various negators in life are explained in three categories. Working as a life coach in India I have always seen people who are in either of these three categories.
1) Total Surrender:
A person literally takes every criticism as an absolute reality comes into this category. Such people cannot do much in life. Their decisions & actions will always be dependent on other people’s opinion. They are just surviving and are not living to their full potential.
2) Partial Surrender:
A person taking some criticism as absolute truth comes into this category. Some people are very much immune to most of the criticism around them. But they are prone to criticism coming from certain people. Also, in certain situations where they are vulnerable and when they are criticized they are negatively affected by the people criticizing them. Such people do get a little success in their life but then they always feel incomplete from the inside.
3) No Surrender:
A person when takes not criticism as truth comes into this category. Such people in general are purely immune to any type of criticism in life. Because of this they have some plus points and also some negative points. As they are immune to criticism any type of negativity do not influence their decisions or actions. But there is also a negative side, they don’t learn from the criticism.
LIFE COACHING TESTIMONIALS
I used to faint in situations where I wanted to do the task but was also afraid to do. My whole body would get cold and couldn’t see anything even if my eyes were open. As my guru, Sahil Nagpal said, “in certain situations my mind could not take decision so it would go blank” Sir gave me a very effective solution i.e. take deep breaths 10 times closing your eyes and repeat it 3 to 4 times a day. And it works and from then I haven’t fainted. Thanks a lot to you sir.
We had invited Mr. Nagpal for a session on self defence on Womens Day and it was a total hit. He has in-depth subject knowledge and gives justice to each session that he delivers. His session on Decision Making by Managing Emotions was much appreciated by all the participants. His charm and charisma is cherry on the cake.
How To Change Your Response
There are always two types of actions: Reactions & Responses. They are either internal or external. Reaction is always quick and comes out of fight or flee mentality. Response is always after a short interval and comes out of long term survival mentality.
As of now you and me both are wired to react or respond to given situations. What we need to do is to re-wire ourselves to react or respond, internally & externally differently to different criticism from people.
Some of the key things that you can do to re-wire your brain:
- Make Your Inner Voice Bigger Than The Outer Voices:
Listen to your inner voice. How? When the outer voices shut. Take some time to sit quietly. When you do this you will hear all the outer voices on the inside. Let them speak, don’t react to those voices or any thoughts that come to your mind. After a while they will shut then ask yourself powerful questions.
- What are your actual strengths?
- What are your weaknesses?
- Can you overcome your challenges?
- What are the great feats you have achieved in your life?
When you ask yourself such questions you will get correct answers from your inside voice. The voice that speaks truth. The voice you can listen to when you shut all the outer voices.
- Learn To Speak Up:
Speak up where you see it is necessary.
- Learn To Stay Silent:
Don’t speak where you feel you should stay silent. At certain situations it is better to be quiet and listen to the criticism. It may shed some light on the areas we need to improve.
- Self-Assess Regularly:
On daily basis, weekly basis or monthly make a self-assessment of your actions and the result of your action. This will also help you understand yourself better. This is one of best self life coaching advice in my opinion.
2 Comments
boyarka-Inform.com
Very good info. Lucky me I found your ste by accident.
I’ve saved it for later!
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